It was exactly a month ago that I gave birth to Gigi. Life is taking on a new normal as my family adjusts to Gigi and she adjusts to the world around her. I feel so grateful to my mom and kids. They’ve been a big help. Right now, most of the family is asleep and I’ve already inhaled a cup of coffee. The writing bug seem to have hit me lately, so here I am typing away instead of staying in bed.
Thinking about: // my birthday that’s coming up this Thursday. In the past, it felt like too much to celebrate since one of my sons have a birthday two days before mine. This year I feel differently. I want to celebrate my birthday in a simple way. I also want to reflect on my life so far.
Bryan (Still Unfinished) has this wonderful tradition in which he picks books to read and reflect on during his birthday month. I thought about doing that, so I may finally read Barbara Brown Taylor’s An Altar in the World. I bought it years ago when it was first published, read snippets of it, but never finished it. I also feel like I need to reread Twyla Tharp’s The Creative Habit for inspiration. It’s self-help for creative types, but I think almost anyone can benefit from reading it.
Now that I’m turning 33, I’ve been thinking about an old passion. When I was younger, I used to write and create art in my art journal every single day. Even with kids, even while homeless, even when life was hard and dark and hopeless, I would write or paint. My journal wasn’t just a journal; it was my commonplace book, my diary, my sketch book, my prayer book. Anything that I wanted to say went into my journal.
A few years ago, my older kids’ dad stole the journal I was working on at the time and ripped it to shreds with his bare hands. It was a journal thick with paint and words, two hundred pages at least. I was so devastated. And since then, I rarely use a journal. I buy them every now and then, but can never conjure up the enthusiasm I once had.
That’s going to change.
It’s time for me to start creating again. The world has been pretty dim without my constant paper companion. I’m going to fake enthusiasm until the day comes when I don’t have to. This won’t be easy, but of course, not everything is.