Day 6 of my 37 Day challenge to pay attention
Lately I’ve been nursing a broken heart. I’ve been single for almost a year now but a recent argument with my ex made my heart break again. This time not from sadness, but from the realization that we can’t even be friends.
Yesterday I tried not to think about him as I took our youngest son to school. On the way there I started to crave poetry. To be specific haiku. Haiku by Basho, Richard Wright, Nicholas Virgilio. . . It didn’t matter.
The smart thing would have been to stay at the bus stop and study on my way to class, but I remembered my resolution to pay more attention to the details of my life.
So instead of waiting for the bus so I could go to school, I practically ran to my nearest library and checked out many of my favorite volumes and anthologies along with a few volumes I’ve never read.
Among morning-glories
the drip drip
of lingerie.
-Alexis Rotella
After the first haiku I felt better. I kept reading haiku after haiku until I reached class. Yesterday I paid attention to my needs and it was poetry that my soul wanted. It might sound strange but I’m pretty proud of myself.
I’m the kind of mom that rarely goes to the doctor. I would love to but I don’t have the time, energy, or desire. When I do have time or energy or desire, (never all three at one time), I rather spend those few hours of peace doing something I love like reading with a cup of coffee next to me or taking a nap instead of sitting in an ice-cold room with just a paper gown on. I need to start paying attention to those needs too but for right now my soul needs poetry and that’s what I’m focusing on.
I am sorry that things are not going very well for you! Maybe it is too soon to be friends with your ex… Do enjoy the poetry, though, and I hope you feel better soon!
Thanks, Kailana! I feel much better know. There’s nothing like books, coffee, kids, and poetry to make me feel better.
Good for you for listening to your heart.
Re: the ex thing….give it time. No one can tell you how to feel or how to be in any given situation. If what you want is friendship, then be a friend. If the other person chooses not to feel the same, that’s their choice. You can do, be, and feel whatever you want to. In the end, it’s not about them. It’s about you.
Did any of that make sense?
Sorry you’re feeling sad. The poetry thing is well timed, though, as April is National Poetry Month!
I’m so sorry you had a rough day yesterday. Hugs. And, no it doesn’t sound strange to me to run to poetry for comfort. I do the same. I am glad you listened to your heart and found words that were uplifting.
I hope you’re feeling better, Vasilly *hugs*
This probably sounds cheesy/clichéd, but the healing power of art never ceases to amaze me.
I’m sorry you felt bad but I ‘m delighted to find someone who also gets a lift from good haiku. I was so surprised to see you mention Nicholas Virgilio and Alexis Rotella as they are favourites of mine and fellow haijin (haiku poets) too. Alexis published my work in her haiku journal Brussel Sprout some years back. My haiku site is gone now but I did write about my work in the recent Weekly Geeks post here if it interests you:
http://freshinkbooks.blogspot.com/2009/04/weekly-geeks-2009-13.html
And I will be posting Haiku Fridays every week now. Take care.